In our previous blog, we explored the topic of arranged marriages in Morocco. Today, we will guide you through the traditional and religious wedding procedures, from finding your spouse to the final day of the wedding, and even beyond with the celebrations of a newborn and circumcision traditions in Moroccan culture.
In Morocco, there are two primary types of weddings
Traditional Weddings: These ceremonies vary significantly across the country, depending on the region. Customs, attire, and rituals differ, but they all center around family, community, and cultural heritage.
- Religious Weddings: This type is based on Islamic principles and the traditions of the Prophet Mohamed. The religious wedding process has four essential conditions that must be met
- Mutual Acceptance: The first step is for the bride and groom to accept one another without external pressure. In conservative settings, there is often no opportunity for the couple to meet alone before the marriage, as the initial discussions happen between the two families with the presence of an Imam (religious leader) and family members. Some modern families allow a short private discussion (usually around 15 minutes) for the couple to agree on specific terms, such as wearing the hijab or niqab.
- Witnesses: In the next step, witnesses are required to officially acknowledge the marriage. Traditionally, this includes family members and an Imam, who serve as testament to the union. Unlike in modern weddings with rings or formal contracts, the key to a religious wedding in Morocco is the witnesses’ testimony, as marriage contracts weren’t always documented in the past. Today, however, 3-5 officials from the registration office also attend to formalize the marriage by drafting and registering the official wedding contract.
- Dowry (Mahr): The third condition is the dowry, which is a gift from the groom to the bride. Religious weddings emphasize modesty in the amount of dowry, with the belief that the less materialistic the dowry, the more blessed the marriage will be. However, some parents may take a portion of the dowry for wedding preparations.
- The Wedding Meal: The final step is a celebratory meal, usually arranged by the groom’s family. The meal is a symbolic gesture, marking the couple’s new life together and introducing them as a married couple to the community. Traditionally, men and women eat separately, with the women allowed to play tambourines as long as there are no men present during the performance.
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Traditional Weddings in Morocco
Traditional weddings, in contrast, are longer and more elaborate, often lasting at least three days. But before the festivities begin, let’s discuss how potential spouses meet in a traditional setting.
Finding a partner is often a carefully considered process. People seek spouses based on various criteria: some prefer an intellectual woman with a good education, others a career-oriented wife who can contribute financially, and many prioritize religious qualities. Recommending someone can be challenging because families feel responsible if the match doesn’t work out.
When a suitor approaches a potential bride’s home, it’s often referred to as a “dangerous game” because the decision must be made after a brief meeting with someone they’ve never met before. Dating apps and casual meetings are usually excluded. The suitor traditionally brings gifts such as fruits, sugar, milk, and yogurt for the children. Even if the girl is already taken, the family will still extend hospitality, inviting him in to listen to his proposal.
The girl serves food during this visit, giving the suitor a chance to observe her. The boy doesn’t give his decision on the spot but promises to call the family within 3-7 days to confirm his intentions. Can the girl refuse? It depends on her parents’ openness and their assessment of the suitor’s background. Wealth, power, and fame often influence decisions in some families, while others may prioritize ethical and family values.
Once the decision is made, the boy’s family visits to meet the bride’s family, marking the official introduction of the two families. This meeting doesn’t necessarily involve final decisions, but Moroccan mothers play a significant role, often giving detailed evaluations of the hospitality they experience. Both families exchange generous gifts, including sugar, flour, biscuits, and sometimes clothing.
Dowry and Marriage Contract
On the dowry day, both families gather, including uncles, aunts, and neighbors. The Imam and 3-5 members from the registration office are present to draft the wedding contract. Stories about extravagant dowries like camels are common, but the dowry must have a money value. For example, if a groom offers “10,000 camels,” the registration office will ask for the equivalent in cash (which would be billions of Dirhams). The groom must pay it immediately to finalize the contract, or it will be recorded as a debt, payable in case of divorce.
After the contract is signed, the couple cannot travel or spend time alone until the wedding ceremony is complete. Why? Many parents fear the potential for sudden disruptions, such as divorce, which could leave their daughter stigmatized at a young age. For Moroccans, marriage isn’t just about companionship but about building a family, and patience is valued.
The Three-Day Traditional Wedding
Moroccan weddings typically take place in the summer, as warm weather makes it easier to host guests, feed them, and offer simple accommodations. Here’s how the three days of festivities are usually structured:
- Day 1: Henna Ceremony
The groom stays at his family’s home, where he receives a small dot of henna on his hand. Meanwhile, the bride enjoys a full henna treatment at her parent’s house, with intricate designs on her hands, feet, and sometimes her hair. - Day 2: Meeting Between the Bride and Groom
The bride is escorted to the groom’s house by her family and guests. Throughout the night, she wears seven different dresses representing regions of Morocco. Professional organizers, videographers, and photographers often capture the event. After the final dress change, the couple retreats to their marriage room for their first intimate encounter. Traditionally, the community expects proof of the bride’s virginity. While this practice still exists in some areas, many now accept a doctor’s certificate to alleviate pressure. It’s important to note that scientific knowledge about virginity has progressed, and a lack of blood does not necessarily mean the bride wasn’t a virgin. - Day 3: Grand Wedding Celebration
The couple invites the entire village for a large celebration with music, dancing, and feasting. Guests bring valuable gifts, unlike in Western weddings where a gift registry is used. In Morocco, the gifts can later be sold or exchanged for items the couple needs. Traditional musical groups, dancers, and performers entertain guests, while the groom’s family covers all expenses.
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