In traditional Moroccan culture, arranged marriages were once the standard, with parents playing a central role in selecting spouses for their children. The belief was that parents, through their experience and wisdom, could better identify a suitable partner. For many, marriage decisions were based on ethical values—prioritizing a person’s character, such as their stance on gambling, alcohol, and other behaviors. However, there were also families that pursued what could be called “marriages of benefit,” where power, wealth, or status took precedence.
Before modern conveniences like dating apps or easy travel, opportunities to meet potential partners were rare, often limited to local festivals, markets, or weddings. During these events, parents would discreetly investigate whether other families had eligible children. The notion of physical beauty was secondary to inner character, as Moroccans valued qualities like honesty, integrity, and respect. Makeup and beauty treatments were minimal, often consisting of natural products like walnut bark for teeth, coal for the eyes, and Argan oil for the skin.
One notable example of a traditional arranged marriage gone tragically wrong is the famous story of the Berber Romeo and Juliet. The legend tells of two young lovers from rival tribes, Ait Yaaza and Ait Ibraham, in the High Atlas Mountains. Despite their tribes’ bitter enmity, the couple sought to unite through love. Unfortunately, their union was forbidden, and after numerous failed attempts to convince their families, they ultimately sacrificed their lives by drowning in two separate lakes—Isli (Groom Lake) and Tislit (Bride Lake). This heartbreak prompted the two tribes to resolve their differences, leading to the creation of the Ait Hdidou tribe. Today, the annual Imilchil Festival, where young people are free to choose their partners, stands as a testament to their sacrifice, though the festival has evolved to include more modern and touristic elements.
Even today, remnants of arranged marriage traditions remain, though more indirectly. For instance, it’s not uncommon for a potential suitor to approach a family’s door to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage. Wise parents will investigate the suitor’s background, placing emphasis on ethics—avoiding alcohol, gambling, and poor behavior—while ensuring that he can take care of their daughter. As my father often reminded me, “When considering a marriage, don’t focus on how beautiful she is or how respectable her parents are; instead, pay attention to how her brothers care for themselves and their family. You don’t want children with unmotivated uncles.”
On the other hand, some families may prioritize wealth or social standing, even if the suitor’s character is lacking. This pressure can create a situation where daughters feel compelled to agree to a marriage, hearing phrases like, “This is your chance. Do you think men will keep knocking on this door forever?” Such pressure can often make the marriage feel “arranged” even when it’s not formally so.
In modern Morocco, dating apps and technology have facilitated new ways of meeting, but only a small percentage lead to marriage. Most families, especially those in rural areas, still prefer traditional courtship rooted in cultural values. In fact, some men from cities will specifically look to rural areas for wives, seeking partners they believe are “pure” and untouched by the modern dating scene.
Read our next blog for a step-by-step guide to Moroccan wedding procedures, from the engagement to the wedding day, and insights on divorce from both cultural and religious perspectives.
